


Reconcile

by Azuremosquito



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 11:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4959343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuremosquito/pseuds/Azuremosquito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years after Fenris chose to end their relationship, Marian still can't cast aside her feelings for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reconcile

Marian closed the door and leaned against it, letting her head fall back with a soft thunk. So many years of fighting to keep Kirkwall safe and it never fucking ended. There was always someone to be rescued, thugs to be swept off the street, bandits to be killed. And through it all, Hawke had lost  _everything_.

First Bethany, fleeing the blight, then Carver to the blasted Wardens, then Leandra to that  _monster_. Even Fenris-

No. She refused to think about Fenris. After all these years, that cut was still the most painful. He was the only loved one who had chosen to leave her.

She couldn’t understand why he remained in Kirkwall, and why he insisted on helping her with every trouble that inevitably arose. Why couldn’t he just let her be?

Tears welled up behind her eyelids and she grimaced, digging the heels of her palms into the sockets. It had been three years. Hadn’t she done enough crying?

A knock sounded on the door behind her head and she gasped, stepping away from the door and turning baleful eyes upon it. She considered not answering it. Let someone else pick up the garbage in this city for a change. Hawke was retiring.

The knock sounded again and she sighed. Who was she kidding? Wiping at her eyes and taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and opened the door.

Fenris stood there, moonlight glinting off his pale hair as he shifted from foot to foot. His eyes widened at the sight of her, as surprised as she was to see him. Carefully pulling her neutral mask into place, she nodded to the elf.

“Fenris. Is something wrong?”

He flinched at her cool tone and looked away. “I… Yes. I wished to speak with you, if you are not otherwise indisposed.”

She wanted so badly to tell him to leave and never return. She wanted to beg him to give them another chance. She wanted sarcasm to drip venom as she demanded what he needed of her this time. Everyone used her. This would be no different.

He lifted his head, something in the depths of his eyes stilling the blade of her tongue. Instead, she stepped back, opening the door wider and silently inviting him inside. He hesitated, and she almost expected him to bolt, but after a moment, he nodded to her and stepped across the threshold.

A tense silence descended upon them as she slipped past him and led the way deeper into the house. Greeting Boddahn and instructing him to have Orana bring drinks, after which they were not to be disturbed, she led Fenris into the library and shut the door behind them. The elf paced away from her, glaring up at the statue above the mantle as though it bore him particular malice. Marian opened her mouth several times to make conversation, but her mood forbade idle pleasantries, and so the silence stretched between them.

She found herself instead watching the golden highlights that danced across his skin, stunning counterpoint to the silver threads of his hair. The sleek lines of his body shifted beneath his clothing and she recalled the way his muscles had shivered beneath seeking fingers. She remembered the exotic whorls of lyrium tattoos that emphasized every line of him, and the way they had flared to light with his passion.

Orana slipped quietly into the room and Marian tore her gaze from Fenris, swallowing against the ache in her throat. They had somehow managed never to be alone since that night. She hadn’t realized the rawness of her emotions in his presence. Orana respectfully poured each of them a drink and then departed as silently as she had entered.

Fenris still hadn’t spoken and Marian noted the way his jaw clenched and shifted. She dreaded hearing whatever he might say as much as she longed to hear his voice. Maker, she couldn’t bear this.

Tossing back the entire glass of wine, she crossed to sit on the sofa. “Well, Fenris, in my experience, when someone asks to speak with me, there is usually talking involved.” She was satisfied with the steadiness of her voice, even if she had to grip her tunic to still her hands.

The elf flinched again and took a deep breath before lifting his head to gaze at her. There was such desperate longing in that look that she felt her breath ripped from her lungs. He took a step toward her, his brows knitting together.

“Hawke… Marian.” He took another deep breath and she felt her heart pounding in her chest at the caress in her given name. “I have come to ask- no, beg you. Whatever spell you have cast over me, break it. I can’t go on like this anymore. Ever since that night, I can think of nothing else.”

Marian realized she was gaping and slowly closed her mouth. “Fenris?” Gone were her cool, controlled tones, leaving in their wake a naked whisper.

The elf took another step toward her. “Marian… I do not deserve your forgiveness though I should have asked it long since. At the time, the rush of emotions, the memories… It was too much. ‘I’m sorry’ are such shallow words for the depth of my regret. I ask you now… Could there ever be anything between us again?”

Marian tried to take in breaths but the air wouldn’t come. She stared into impossibly green eyes and felt like she was drowning. Surely this was another dream and she would wake disappointed. She didn’t care.

“Fenris… I have been yours all these years. There has never been anyone else.”

He snorted softly. “What of Anders?”

She shook her head, shakily rising to her feet and willing her knees to hold steady. “Only you, Fenris.”

He was so close she could reach out and touch him but she balled her hands into fists. He had to be the one.

His expression softened into one of sorrow and he tilted his head, slowly reaching toward her face. He hesitated, his fingers a hairsbreadth from her skin. “You would truly give me another chance?”

“I want nothing more.” She trembled, her voice nearly breaking.

She watched in disbelief as the corners of his mouth quirked upward in the ghost of a smile. From Fenris, that was as good as a delighted grin. Her heart skipped a beat, she was positive. His eyes flickered uncertainly between her eyes and her lips, not believing he would be worthy of such things as second chances, or even love, if he were to be honest with himself.

“Damn it, Fenris,” she growled. “Just kiss me already.” She had waited too long. Her heart would burst if she had to wait another instant.

He gave a low chuckle that delighted her, and obliged.


End file.
